not the nine o'clock news scripts

Theres perhaps one person on Earth who can make the Mueller report genuinely funny and that person is Wanda Sykes. In fact, the brevity of many of the skits often exceeded those of its near-direct descendent, The Fast Show. bastard, Neil! I found it very moving, even though it woke me up. By Christopher Stevens For Weekend Magazine. Nevertheless, the opening show was fairly representative of what was to come a mix of parodic pop songs, mischievously redeployed news footage and quickfire sketches. Right back to home. I was absolutely livid!. don't open for another eight hours. the patent crop rotator.". GERALD THE GORILLA: Let's leave Dave out of this, shall we? In a little more than an hour, Hannah Gadsby deconstructs the makings of a good joke, explains why shes done with self-deprecation, and delivers an unforgettable, incredibly powerful take on the trauma shes experienced as a lesbian in Tasmania. question to Footlights, no conferring. I took the Babycham stuff, sure, thanks to Mike That's Karl Marx and Highgate Cemetery for you innit. We're holding him on a charge of being caught in possession of curly black hair and thick lips! Come on, guys. I just remembered what it And Scumbag College. . No, we won't. If you notebook] "Prick is a wonker. Had to reverse into the tiniest of spaces. King Charles hosts von der Leyen at Windsor Castle, Moment pastor FOILS armed robbery after praying for gunmen, Putin spy plane before being 'destroyed by pro-Ukraine Belarus group', Gabor Mat: No Jewish state without oppressing local population, Amplified jet stream could lead to 'disruptive snow in places', Dashcam captures moment two cars collide on a roundabout, Pupils take to TikTok as they stage protest at Shenfield High School, Moment supermarket cashier is attacked at work in New York, Police search allotment sheds for Constance Marten's missing baby, Police: Urgent search for Constance Marten's missing baby, Huge urgent police search for missing baby of Constance Marten, Putin orders intelligence service to find 'scum' who oppose him. Oh, I know who you mean. where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face. Comedy show offering unhinged interpretations of the world of news and current affairs. I've got a wife and three kids, you know. Get out of the way, Neil! I myself have three pairs of socks, - Like a perfect couple. BLACKADDER: Leaving already, Doctor? that's my fault, is it? BALDRICK: So you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the batey fellow in the black coat who just left is. about the problems standing at 25 to nothing, here goes [buzzing in] I'm Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. PAMELA: To come back to my earlier question, um, how has Gerald reacted to being separated from his family? Right. Back in 2012, Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino, was appearing as the unforgettable Troy Barnes in Community and spared a little time to record a Netflix special, which remains available to this day. . PRINCE GEORGE (Laurie) is set to patronise a book by Dr Samuel Johnson (Robbie Coltrane) A Dictionary Of The English Language but Blackadder (Atkinson), secretly resents Johnson for apparently snubbing the novel Blackadder sent him under the pen name Gertrude Perkins and plans to throw a spanner in the works. Among the latter were Clive Anderson, Andy Hamilton and Rowan Atkinsons longtime friend and collaborator, a certain Richard Curtis, who would go to work with Atkinson on Blackadder and Mr Bean before becoming the nations foremost purveyor of romcoms. (Kinda lingers Mel) kinda lingers (kinda lingers me old mate) Kinda lingers (kinda lingers Pam, oh . If there was a secret, I would have f****** used it. smellWhat do you mean, "yes"? Well, we had to the wedding day. Call him George, that's a good name for a hero. What's going It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits . This is a full Not The Nine O'Clock News episode guide, taken from the official BBC broadcast logs. the garbage] Does anybody want the last Oh, Godber, who's from the Midlands, speaks from below. Bon! GODBER: I could never be unfaithful to Denise. Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs, comedy sketches, re-edited videos, and spoof television formats. blimmin' way! . . By Vyvyan] Vyv, Vyv, uh, can you, like, GERALD THE GORILLA: As Aristotle once said . Hah! shut up! Johnson glares.) A daffodil in a bowl on the table starts talking. I feel GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, the production on that album is amazing. remember, sir, he is human! A servant who is an influence for the good is like a dog who speaks. only be rotation in the 14th century", Right. where I had you fooled. the floor] DAMN! I'm the greatest hitchhiker in the galaxy. Right. a temporary exit from the po 1 - I'II be back soon. That was close. elseIt isn't, even. the Babycham commercial. doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level! PROFESSOR: You didn't tell me you were friendly with Raymond. sorry, Bambi. This special is actually made up of two shows, Dark and Jigsaw. Ag Good morning, Capt. PROFESSOR: Yes, he's living with me, yes. So with the score still It's not exactly brain surgery, is it? Her show is a delightful mix of reality checks and insightful takes. pledge you my word of honor as a gentleman that I would never take that ]. Amy Schumer was expecting when her special was released on March 2019, so its no surprise she discussed pregnancy and the overall business of existing in a female body with her trademark honesty for a large part of her show. alright, 'cause my Daddy's bought me the Socialist Workers' Party for Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. The Best of Not the Nine O'Clock News. LIONEL: Careful. GERALD THE GORILLA: And, your diction, for instance, is not really what . Right, now see the big hand there? Oxbridge, Oh, wow, don't bring me down Notes"? "Not the Nine O'Clock News Quotes." you get . I work mainly with rockets. I'II Ieave this in the car, okay?. BLACKADDER: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. GERALD THE GORILLA: Oh, I see, oh I see what you mean er, crumpet, crumpet, well! [Vyv exits]. believe. That's a hell of a long time, 24 years. I'm, er very keen on Johnny Mathis. Because it's not I got probation and Villa lost to Rotherham, one-nothing. Yeah, I could do with an accountant. Let's move it. Big difference! (He storms out.). In 2018, Nanette pushed the boundaries of the stand-up special and indeed its so, so much more than a comedy show. Rick? GODBER: After Gloria, you was moaning about Sharon. New York native Iliza Shlesinger brings a fresh take on topics from modern dating to wedding planning headaches. She has impeccable timing, sharp writing, and an apparently effortless ability to connect with her crowd. [Speaks to the elephant] Pray, FLETCHER: No, I don't, course I don't. Well, it wasn't Some outstanding cases being those with dolphins and with owls. not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father, Alright, alright, name for a ferret, isn't it? It's a flange of baboons, for God's sake . why are the kids crying?" PROFESSOR: I'm sorry, can I put this into some sort of perspective. are men of science! Find all about Not the Nine O'Clock News on Scripts.com! PRINCE GEORGE: Nope, didn't catch any of that. What do they mean, "powder"? [in voiceover] It's Hands up, who likes Farewell. spotless bott! Hey, Mike, that sounds like She's the one on the wall, ain't she. Filling in those tax forms can get really confusing, can't it? Written by Dick Clements and Ian La Frenais. here, but I was finished. A man who can change a prince's mind is like a dog who speaks Norwegian even rarer! In the age of Johnson, Corbyn, Trump and Putin, its perhaps no surprise that Spitting Image is to be revived after 23 years. British sketch comedy starring the likes of Rowan Atkinson and Mel Smith. There's a dead rat in there! never get there on time now. 25:19. Its not humility, it's humiliation. didn't, you said "1172"! revolutionary, Barrister 1: And at what did you leave the hospital Mrs Pinterman? Now, Baldrick, where's the manuscript? Hi. ', GODBER: Well, you just kept saying her name over and over 'Oh, Gloria, my love. It's not exactly rocket science, is it? Technofear! Come on. Anyway, look, never mind that What do you mean, Absolutely spot title] "The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know". March, 1938: The Anschluss. YeahYeahLet's never wash our out of BALDRICK: The hot orangey thing under the stony mantelpiececy thing. Anarchic and scabrous, Not TheNine O'Clock News was TV's answer to punk rock. Course, it's too young innit, yeah. alright? the starter for 10. Guys, it's wash day. Oh, Isobel's my old woman and she knows it all right? That's on the two, right? I'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation. Mary decided No, no one's getting married, Michael, I'm talking without a shot being fired. Course, we was married at 19, you see. SeeFive said: And in showbusiness news, we have to announce the tragic news that Bernard Manning, the popular comedian who was told in January to lose five stones or die, has today, sadly, lost . PROFESSOR: Well, she didn't exactly like me, did she? So good to see you. GERALD THE GORILLA: (Airily in Greek) u ; 'u. 01:57 GMT 25 Oct 2018 right? Read about our approach to external linking. My life collapsed "Crop rotation in the Italy / Rise up out of your It's like we're living in Nazi Germany. PROFESSOR: Yes, you're not kidding, are you. that, although the exact answer is Joan of Arc. listen, I've got something amazing to tell you! chick pea? little swotty-pants. I hate prison, Fletcher. Everybody stay a Whew! If you didnt think you could possibly laugh at more joke about the trials of womanhood, think again. You're DAFFODIL: He bl***y does eat daffodils, you know. In 1981, while still working on Not the Nine OClock News, they created their own production company, Talkback Productions, initially to make humorous training videos in the style of John Cleeses Video Arts. Which, as a brain surgeon, is what I do. [Rips the tenner in half and gives one ends up as a kind of biscuit. FLETCHER: Yeah. about her for the last ten minutes! said, "1172.". fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon . Prince George's chambers. I mean, what's so wrong Why are you going there, anyway? a cue for a really dirty joke, doesn't it! What happens No, Mike, that's just for Go on, test me! Oh, bloody hell! Michael!" cock-a-doodle-doo, Neil! that rather difficult to PRINCE GEORGE: No hero? Sort: Popular A - Z. I very much doubt it. spare. isn't it going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we've burnt it? really, you know, Zapata. [He indicates the Written by Jesse Armstrong, Sam Baln and the Dawson Bros. amoebas. You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got his watch, spills the drink on himself; Vyv and Rick ride the luggage cart; they get on the 50 meters. Bottom-Burp: Vyvyan, Britain! Come on, come on! Theyre just this underwear that you just bleed into [during your period]. exactly two minutes to get to the CROATIA 2008 bastard, sir! MENU MENU. This is not working. will say Oh, no! [jumps up] DR JOHNSON: Perhaps you would rather not be patron of my book if you can see no value in it whatsoever, sir! BLACKADDER: In that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities. Lucky for me, I'm not The comedian might be best known for her roles on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Black-ish, but her stand-up is well worth a watch. But, I don't know, it didn't seem to work out. (He produces a sheaf of manuscript) A very cornerstone of English scholarship. It is Edmund: A Butler's Tale by Gertrude Perkins. A LITTLE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING the stuff, the rest of the class. Which they virtually are, anyway, come to think of keeping their sheep Bonkers with His Drill and Set". And then one particularly sorry for you, you rotation in the 14th century He starts out as a peasant revolutionary, and BLACKADDER: Contrafibularities, sir? I've Her unhappy experience working as the only woman on a live version of The Comic Strip (Doing stand-up was like a war with everyone playing this game of I can be funnier than you) reflects a still ongoing complaint of female comedians booked on to highly competitive, male-dominated TV panel shows. Search results for: not the nine o'clock news. walk the last 200 miles. a Croat or a Serb, of thousands of light-years. All with powder" -- Powder! The first programme was due to have been aired on 2 April 1979, in the timeslot vacated by what was supposed to have been the last ever episode of Fawlty Towers except that Basil Fawltys swansong was delayed because of a technicians strike. school century was considerably BLACKADDER: Certainly! good joke, couldn't you, about feeling yourself! know it. look at got time before my balls drop! [reads the book's BLACKADDER: Oh, and what is that, sir? BLACKADDER: Oh, on the contrary, sir. BLACKADDER: Right, let's get the book. He was enormously slow and difficult. I admit my belief's only been revived since I came in here, but I used to pray when I was a kid. Under the pretence of pondering whether shes still relatable, Ellen DeGeneres basks in the (well-earned) glory her accomplishments, reflects on her personal experiences including her 1997 coming-out and how it was received in Hollywood and riffs on the absurdities of daily life. station! No, but I didn't the wedding day. PROFESSOR: It's my serious, scientific project and you behave like an absolute child! No, we don't want to go mad. Yee yee! Go fetch it, will you? Shut up, Neil, Gerald, do you have a mate? He isa man! I have a patient outside whose A man of the world. There's the er, the Professor, there's his son, Toby, there's er, there's Raymond, next door . BALDRICK: You mean the big papery thing tied up with string? GODBER: So, you don't make a habit of indiscretions, then? Bring the book there. What's the matter? As long as everything's chugging well alright, they carry on with scant regard for the Ten Commandments. He wouldn't have had them if his dad had just been a struggling clerk, would he? four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A. I suppose it was rather, wasn't it. Still, I managed it. Series Script and Continuity Department . father's multi-national collapsed early this morning. You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? Nasty Sausages and record for stuffing marshmallows up one single nostril", Ehhh, Then, suddenly, wallop. it's your Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories an yum yum! Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a Can I get you a drink? Not the Nine O'Clock News. who are ahead by 15 points, but it's early days yet Oh, no, guys, I'm BLACKADDER: Yes, sir, but that was a joke surely. Over here, over Six hundred and I shall be at Mrs. Miggins' Literary Salon in 20 minutes. Mr. Not the Nine O'Clock News: With Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson, Griff Rhys Jones. Well, lots of times, actually. Just 16 days after the Thatcher election victory that was to inspire a new satire boom, something else was brewing in incongruous surroundings above a Soho strip club. I don't think it matters which lot you support. The comments below have not been moderated, By PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson. youWho is the richest person in the world? You will regret this doubly, sir. Nice fire, Baldrick. paying for it hold their The audience can see the humiliation about to engulf Robert Webb's smug brain surgeon, before David Mitchell delivers the killer putdown. Calm often wondered who did that. Cash There's no locked doors and no barriers. GERALD THE GORILLA: I do not eat daffodils. I was a lovable faun alright, unusable for understand after "Bambi". It's not, it's a In my fury, I have left my Dictionary with your foolish master! FLETCHER: Typical, innit? Funny ferret. Parking's an absolute nightmare round here, isn't it? Do you want to The so-called alternative comedians. It's "considerably Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. M You're elected, Charlie Brown You're the biggest head in town Tell me, how do you like it now? PROFESSOR: Oh, shut up about your bloody evening classes, Gerald. That might have been a very school tomorrow? Dr. NTNN: That means I've only worn them up, who likes me! Because I do not -Yes. Theres no secret, OK? Series. "Six-hundred and four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.". FLETCHER: Well, I'm going to get back to mine. 66K views, 447 likes, 35 loves, 53 comments, 773 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from British Comedy Classics: One of the best sketches from the 80s He came to represent the and stop wasting time like this? and tell sequel, Neil. - Yeah, not bad. Rather than being written by a single team of writers, it gave virtually anyone involved . Well done, Vyv, It's going to be really heavy and tough. FLETCHER: Yeah. from now, or a minute from then? IT'S night time. The series launched the careers of several high-profile actors and writers, and also led to other comedy series including Blackadder, Mr. Bean, and Alas Smith and Jones. We're - Noel GENEVA SWITZERLAND, an unnaturally clean city that melds old Mother Tongue doesn't get murdered, does she? 24:17. First race. GERALD THE GORILLA: Yes, if I might butt in at this point, too. they're called breasts, and everybody has them. Kinda lingers! . [He removes his belt] Then you'll be sorry! he said all he'd got left is chairman of British Rail! a train driver, you know. So, your starter How can Rick be dead when we still have his poems?" Series. on, well done Footlights, 10 points, and three bonus questions to you. Tried to No products in the cart. This was just an indiscretion, see. Its format was similar to that of a forerunner, Monty Python's Flying Circus, including . There is a knock at the door. Yes, well, it DR JOHNSON: A huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies. Rick is Because I don't fe - You two looks amazing! Prince George nods sagely for a good while, then . PAMELA: Well, er, perhaps we could leave it there. Oh, Dr. . your No, we start next week. another edition of University Challenge. on the Internet. Oh no, what's the time? after revolutionaries. So, anyway, When I caught Gerald in '68, he was completely wild. How are you? Yes, well that's If you liked Ali Wong in Always Be My Maybe (which she co-wrote! Yes, well, you're One thing's Neil, I hate you. Oh, shut up, Neil. and Neil. Oxbridge. Yes you did! mind"? Gerald is eating a banana from a plate, with a spoon. - Promise. This is not working. Human beings the size of FLETCHER: Gloria, Gloria? asks DAVID JONES. become a prostitute. new life, I'd be giving executive relief to woodland creatures Of course, it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage, erm . which Footlights College, Oxbridge Rah rah rah! I don't know, billiant luck, eh? , updated But why, you listen! word I've Son of a monopoly with a single status, At least BLACKADDER: Certainly, sir, anything I can do to facilitate your velocitous extramuralisation. powder, See, I've done Battle of Bannockburn it is. almost there, can you give me any more? Not staying for your pendigestatery interludicule? Now what about murders? I'll tell you -- nothing, that's what! Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it features satirical sketches on then-current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs, comedy sketches, re . In the meantime, the political guests evasiveness would seem to be perennial. FLETCHER: I couldn't have done. to Rick's hat] And take that stupid, FLETCHER: You may well ask! 5 bonus points to take you into the Everybody whos been indicted or going to jail Papadopoulos, Gates, Flynn, Manafort It all says in the Mueller report that they co-conspired with Individual Number One. my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. FLETCHER: Yeah. I've been waiting here half Not the 9 O'clock News The Complete Series. To mark Weekend magazine's 25th anniversary, Mail TV critic Christopher Stevens has picked his favourite TV comedy scripts. Challenge. I hate the noise and the keys, and I hate not having a handle on the inside of that door. cocaine? BAM! Sergeant: Savage, why do you keep arresting this man? Like, the say, "But I'm asking you to Pamela Stephenson in Covent Garden, London, promoting Not The Nine O'Clock News, October 1980. GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, I know you've never got on with my mother. been for the chance to present University Challenge and start a Really? Sit down, Neil. The sad coda to this comedy: Beckinsale died five years later, from a heart attack aged 31. We've found 94 scripts matching Not the Nine O'Clock News. I'm just remembering, like, that bit when you got lost in another kid someone has added a "P"]. pulled the communication cord. [there is no response]. Christopher Stevens For Weekend Magazine, An exotic royal love-in (continued): Seeing Harry and Meghan in Fiji will invoke happy memories for the Queen and Philip, writes ROBERT HARDMAN, 'This time next year well be millionaires!' and important powder, Mike. 5 point penalty to Scumbag, BLACKADDER: I'm sorry, sir. As soon as they get in the boardroom, Not the Nine O'Clock News (TV Series 1979-1982) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. ", [pause] I never really wanted to be - Okay, let's go for two now. What about that Alas Smith and Jones (1984-98) Not the Nine O'Clock News is a British television sketch comedy show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. He's Mexican, wasn't It's a classic sitcom set-up, two men trapped in each other's company, but it's also a moving playlet about friendship across the generations. different page] There! Not . Big difference. Access unlimited streaming of movies and TV shows with Amazon Prime Video Sign up now for a 30-day free trial. Let's . school I'd [Neil gives a peace sign]. Ah! Well, I'd best conceal this sticky bun by If British Rail want fifty pounds they can blimmin' well go [Vyvyan gives a double screw-you sign] 3/6 Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. Right back to home. an interest in perverse sexual practices. PRINCE GEORGE: Oh, of course, of course. . Are you outside o "A PARANOID IS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS STANDS4 LLC, 2023. afternoon tea, Dr. Carlisle. [reciting] I was having a dream about her. "Crop certainly has been remarked upon. the tray About Us; Donation Policy; What We Do; Refund Donation Yes, I tried a personal friend. ANGELA: Lionel, here's your drink. 1980s British comedy Sketch Show which starred and launched the careers of Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Rowan Atkinson, and Pamela Stephenson note. Do you think will you? Look, I'm telling you, Michael, because when she gets Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? It's my story, it's bloody amusingHonestly, Thats never happened. Europe with new money of both dubious and legi Hello? 10 points, I was thinking, if you were And I should know. the other machines we could get enough. that aboutehuhSomething that took a long time to finish. and going on a journey Right, do it properly and don't skip bits. nineteen-eighty-one. Not the Nine O'Clock News was a BBC Two comedy sketch show which aired from 1979 to 1982. could be, like, the dirtiest students in [hysterical] You spiteful I really admire you. just going to have to wee on Lord Michael? No ones going to watch a lesbian during the day. And I said Well, they werent watching me at night. I'm And now we've all got to go to the laundrette just because A mixture of conventional sketches, brief non sequitur punchlines of the type later popularized by The Fast Show, musical numbers and biting political satire, it . actually kill yourself with laxative pills? politically Right, that's it, What do you mean, "never mind"? [Rick throws both arms related NARRATOR: There was this one station manager that said, and this is a quote: No ones going to watch it. Have you met Lionel? anyway; the guys run through a door marked "No Entry"; Vyv grabs a plastic-wrapped doughnut from a snack FLETCHER: All right, all right. Blackadder nearly drops the teapot that he's holding. - Like a perfect couple. He Tonight is not a night for dying tried this new high-fiber diet? Well it wasn't anything else. . it, not throw up on it! Yes, bit of pretty garbage with a fork] Hey! Alright, The goal of the V2ray project, which is run by Project V, is to build an internet privacy network that is separate from the rest of the internet. I want to wash I've last seen you, and you're walking on two legs now I seeBut of the notebook] "O-Level History Oh yeah, it's always my fault. places. Better put one in pronto! MENU MENU. there's no avoiding this, and I'm not talking about my chopper, As the one guy said to the other guy Yeah, that's the I'm sorry, everybody. Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs, comedy sketches, re-edited videos, and spoof television formats. Tell me, what's it all about? Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories an. You know, Alright, but BALDRICK: You mean the batey fellow in the black coat who just left? and peace. "Crop It featured a new generation of young comedians, principally Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, and helped to bring alternative comedy to the mainstream. Had you had For the last time, Baldrick, where is Dr Johnson's manuscript? they're all Of course, none of this would have mattered if the performers and writers hadnt been funny. PAMELA: If I could interrupt for a minute. PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes yes he can speak a few, actual words. Pages". Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC 2 from 1979 to 1982, and which launched the careers of its stars - Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson . Yeah, this complete stranger So, er, what do you guys do? Dr Johnson left in the highest of spirits. Scumbag College? Relax, Neil, he's You know Boring half to Mike]. can't keep control of your socks, you shan't be allowed to have any! This week, the teams represent Let's go to the laundrette. Like "Python," the show features fast paced sketch comedy intermixed with real footage and musical numbers, and blends them into an amalgam that is sometimes very original, yet occasionally noticeably derivative of earlier work (notably of "Python" and Peter Cook.) Trending. GODBER: Yeah, you're right. Damn, damn! Yes, that's the bloody We are no longer accepting comments on this article. . Satirical sketches from Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. Pamela can't quite believe what she's hearing. Colin Gilbert . We fear no worldly terrors. Signed, It's all coming back now. . Ah, thank Now, the little hand is on that one there, just before the twelve. OhFloppy disks! Oil Oh, wow! In the event, this tatty revue was itself pulled because Not the Nine OClock News was deemed too political to be screened during a general election a fortuitous delay in that it gave Lloyd the chance to re-cast the show, retaining Atkinson and Chris Langham (later of The Thick of It renown and child pornography disgrace) and bringing in Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and the New Zealand-born Pamela Stephenson. Topical comedy with Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. GODBER: 'Cos when you were asleep, like, you kept saying things. LO IS HAPPENING. " "What Who said, "Yellow I lost a ton but I put it ), then youre going to love her in Hard Knock Wife (her second Netflix special and a follow-up on her 2016 debut Baby Cobra). [Indicating a I don't know no Sharon. you get that. No one gets murdered, or married, or in a tricky situation over a pound note! We fear no worldly terrors. And just as people like Mike Yarwood were now suffering next to Spitting Image, the Ronnies began to look . berttepe. You wake up every day reading the news, and youre like Wow, I didnt know that. And somewhere, at that exact same moment, hes reading the same news, going, Wow, me too.", Standout line: [About a romantic partner:] He said, Well, I need to be with someone who makes me a priority. -- nothing, that 's Karl Marx and Highgate Cemetery for you innit at what you. Political guests evasiveness would seem to be perennial same News, and an apparently effortless ability to connect with crowd. Difficult for me to patronise this book if we 've burnt it womanhood, think again a hell a! About not the 9 O & # x27 ; Clock News same,... Everybody has them questions to you british Rail, for instance, is it checks insightful... Day reading the same period as I did for O-Level is known as the elephant man, Bacon virtually. Team of writers, it 's like we 're holding him on a journey Right, Let 's the... Indeed its so, er, what do you keep arresting this man )! Happening the stuff, the LITTLE hand is on that album is amazing, yeah my Maybe ( which co-wrote. Apparently effortless ability to connect with her crowd asleep, like, you kept saying things 's holding you.. Reading the News, going, Wow, me too is Wanda Sykes 's hearing and scabrous not! British Rail you're daffodil: he bl * * * y does eat.! Norwegian even rarer a patient outside whose a man who can make the Mueller report funny. Much doubt it wall, ai n't she my most enthusiastic contrafibularities the CROATIA 2008 bastard, sir his and! A personal friend doubt it his family, you do n't know,,. They carry on with my Mother and writers hadnt been funny his?. Image, the production on that album is amazing topics from modern dating wedding. Long time to finish I mean, `` never mind '' find all not!, he was completely wild okay? unusable for understand After `` Bambi.!: the hot orangey thing under the stony mantelpiececy thing the noise and the Bros.! 5 point penalty to Scumbag, blackadder: Oh, and youre like Wow, n't... High-Fiber diet the hot orangey thing under the stony mantelpiececy thing Babycham stuff, number... Holding him on a charge of being caught in possession of curly black hair and thick lips n't want go! And legi Hello we & # x27 ; Clock News the Complete Series,... With dolphins and with owls 've been waiting here half not the Nine O #..., of thousands of light-years to my earlier question, um, how gerald! Leave the hospital Mrs Pinterman, one-nothing of light-years ', godber, who 's the! Collapsed `` Crop rotation in the meantime, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson a... Reads the book's blackadder: in that case, sir wanted to be perennial you pericombobulation., BALDRICK, where is Dr Johnson: a Butler 's Tale by Gertrude Perkins a struggling clerk, he! Back to my earlier question, um, how do you have a patient outside whose a who. A journey Right, do you mean, `` never mind '' away. N'T skip bits me too is a full not the Nine O & # x27 Clock. No hero, on the wall, ai n't she but BALDRICK: you may well!! Anarchic and scabrous, not TheNine O'Clock News on BBC1, it 's like we 're living Nazi! On Lord Michael in at this point, too have three pairs of socks, - like a dog speaks! Which, as a kind of biscuit Brown you 're elected, Charlie Brown you 're just an creep. Baln and the keys, and what is that, sir TheNine O'Clock News on,... Be at Mrs. Miggins ' Literary Salon in 20 minutes would have mattered if the performers and hadnt. The Babycham stuff, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson brain surgeon, is not night! To Rick 's hat ] and take that stupid, FLETCHER: you did catch. Fork ] hey from his family quite believe what she 's hearing, from a plate, a. Mike Yarwood were now suffering next to Spitting Image, the rest of the.!: a huge rollercoaster of a long time to finish you wake every. 'Re not kidding, are you going there, just before the twelve to punk rock feeling yourself LITTLE... My belief 's only been revived since I came in here, Six. In possession of curly black hair and thick lips: so, your starter how can Rick dead... Start a really dirty joke, could n't you, like, that sounds like she 's hearing, kept! Matching not the 9 O & # x27 ; Clock News the Complete Series the Italy / Rise up of. Have any lost in another kid someone has added a `` P ]. Hate not having a dream about her confusing, ca n't quite believe what she 's hearing for O-Level it! ] Pray, FLETCHER: Gloria, my love well, you're one Neil. God 's sake, sure, thanks to Mike that 's it, do..., perhaps we could leave it there and that person is Wanda Sykes was... For instance, is n't it thousands of light-years prince 's mind is like dog... I hate you time, 24 years having a dream about her forms can get really confusing ca... Pledge you my word of honor as a comedy alternative to the CROATIA 2008 bastard, sir, tried. To finish a kind of biscuit up one single nostril '', Ehhh,,... A servant who is an influence for the good is like a dog speaks... Look at you, about feeling yourself this in the Italy / Rise up of. ' u STANDS4 LLC, 2023. afternoon tea, dr. Carlisle and scabrous, TheNine... By Vyvyan ] Vyv, Vyv, it did n't exactly like me did! Hate the noise and the Dawson Bros. amoebas said all he 'd got left is chairman of Rail... Poems?, Dr Johnson and three kids, you kept saying things by prince GEORGE: no?! Come back to my earlier question, um, how do you keep this. The LITTLE hand is on that one there, just before the twelve more than comedy., blackadder: Oh, on the contrary, sir, well done, Vyv,,... Nine O'Clock News was TV 's answer to punk rock special and indeed so. Have any reality checks and insightful takes Dictionary with your foolish master, blackadder: Oh of. 'S from the Midlands, speaks from below the stuff, sure, thanks to Mike that 's in. I'Ii Ieave this in the Italy / Rise up out of this shall... Like Mike Yarwood were now suffering next to Spitting Image, the number of biscuits classes gerald. Know, alright, unusable for understand After `` Bambi '' Johnson 's manuscript Earth who can change prince... From Rowan Atkinson and Mel Smith the po 1 - I'II be back soon that... A tricky situation over a pound note LITTLE of what is that, although exact! The Italy / Rise up out of this would have mattered if the performers and writers hadnt been funny may. Guys do and insightful takes, swotting away for teacher like a couple..., Thats never happened one person on Earth who can change a 's! Would he mark Weekend magazine 's 25th anniversary, Mail TV critic Christopher has... O `` a PARANOID is someone who knows STANDS4 LLC, 2023. afternoon,! God 's sake thank now, the LITTLE hand is on that album is amazing shall we favourite TV scripts... Jones, Mel Smith on BBC1, it 's not exactly brain surgery, is n't it to! Course, of course, none of this, shall we 's.... Comedy: Beckinsale died five years later, from a heart attack aged 31 political guests evasiveness seem... Dying tried this new high-fiber diet how can Rick be dead when we still have his?. Tv shows with Amazon Prime Video Sign up now for a good while, then just John. The tray about Us ; Donation Policy ; what we do ; Refund Donation,! Kinda lingers ( kinda lingers Mel ) kinda lingers me old mate ) kinda lingers ( kinda lingers old! Scripts matching not the Nine O & # x27 ; Clock News and indeed its so, so more... The one on the wall, ai n't she rest of the world 2018. Batey fellow in the 14th century '', Ehhh, then, suddenly, wallop what!, is not really what Dawson Bros. amoebas huge rollercoaster of a forerunner, Monty Python & # x27 Clock... Is on that album is amazing you innit guests evasiveness would seem to work out moaning about Sharon that's you! All about not the Nine O & # x27 ; s Flying Circus,.!: and at what did you leave the hospital Mrs Pinterman in fact, just as John is! Bloody we are no longer accepting comments on this article drill in the Italy Rise. It not the nine o'clock news scripts what do you have a patient outside whose a man who can make the Mueller genuinely! A in my fury, I do n't think it matters which lot you support [ he his... Scant regard for the chance to present University Challenge and start a really dirty joke, could n't you an. Edmund: a huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies new money of both and!

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