i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog

While I would choose the dog over the guy, I dont want that to happen. Taking care of an animal is a good way to gauge how well you work as a team and to find out what makes your partner tick. The kids are starting to resent her and the fact is that this is taking a huge toll on our marriage. I didnt know this when I met her but I thought she would have gotten more normal since she wasnt alone anymore and telling me she found the man of her dreams and how hard it is to meet someone like me but we would get into arguments about the bulldogs? We are both big-time dog people and love being around furry friends. We had discussed prior that she would need regular groomings and brushings to minimize the shedding but this chore has not been upkept at all. I have never controlled how much he drinks and this has become a big argument in our house. I do not want to toss out my engagement but I do not know how much more I can take. I feel that I never had privacy with my husband, with always those dogs around, on the couch, at the kitchen table, while cooking, while being outside, even in the bedroom!! I felt rushed to eat my dinner. He wants her on the couch all the time even though she is always peeing on herself and dirty. The emotional energy invested in loving ones pets robs emotional energy from a human partner Oh please give me strength. Id guess the number is zero. I realized that I only had patience pre pregnancy because I wanted to be a mother. He eats what he tears up and throws it up so we have that mess to clean up too. What do you even base that arbitrary and subjective remark on anyway? Which I totally dislike because I fear for my baby. I honestly believe its because people get dogs when they are single and lonely. He sleeps in his bed not ours but still. Funny how they excepted us with our pets and now that things got more serious they want to change our situation. Send your dog away to live in utter dog pack madness where she will regress or train her properly and stop,acting like shes a human with human feelings! All rights reserved. They would be flattened like a Roadrunner cartoon by these two beasts. My boyfriend adopted his dog at over a year old so has never dealt with a puppy, his dog completely disrespects me and wont listen to me at all. Things are getting bad. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!! I just found out mine was paying about 7.50/kg for food thats available through Amazon for 4.75. Sorry you are having these struggles too. I dont let the dogs sleep with us and they both have their own spaces in the house where they sleep, and where they are allowed to be during the day as well, but ever since we got the puppy my 10 year old yorkie is waking us both up barking at 3AM, 4AM, 5AM to eat. For example, just the other night he calls her to come back 9 times and then says good girl. He has nearly become my dog, she just cuddles him. I have always generally preferred animals to people, and I made all of this clear to my husband before we got married. And can you respect him if he gives into your bullying? Most arguments over pets come from the primary owner making excuses for them. But, gradually, in no time, your dog will, On a beautiful sunny morning, you and your pooch go for a walk outside your house. Whatever is our desire, we want it now and at the best price with the least effort. Janet, All I can promise is that I will think heavily on what youve said. Its difficult for me to understand why anyone would stay in this type of environment. But unfortunately I didnt know that and Im now invested in this relationship. If youre starting a new relationship, take time to discuss your values regarding pets. I suffer from asthma (maybe cats.. idk yet) and it can be life threatening yet these animal lovers feel the pets come before human family. Its really sad because dog owners who do this never care about how anyone else feels or about their own cleanliness and surroundings. Reading through these comments, Im so glad Im not alone! Yup, dog is still there. However most of the pet sites insult anyone considering turning their indoor cat into an outdoor cat. I dont have children and they have filled that void in my life. I went into this marriage never having heard the term dog codependence. Just like people sometimes dont like other people. These people and their dogs will leave you for their pets because their pets love them. I told him that he needs to come clean up the yard and talk to the landlord himself since his name is still on the lease. Thats borderline mental. Before reading this blog, I thought I was going crazy thinking the way I did or maybe that is the way my partner treats me. He isnt even searching for a home for them so I guess Ill have to. Reason why? Its recommended not to let him walk off-leash and roam. I think my jaw dropped when I read this because I thought I might have written it in my sleep! Not only that she forgets how to carry herself as a married woman when shes out and around people. Perhaps, there is an entitlement issue with people that own chihuahuas? They have passed away 2 yrs ago my mom and not quite 1 yr ago my dad. I would like to contribute with my personal story about mistakes that we make when we enter a relationship being a pet lover, but also give a word of compassion to those who find themselves in the same situation that I do. B I ask if has ever yelled at her or hit or kicked her or anything that she would be afraid of him but he always says no she just doesnt listen to me. He always had to have his face in hers, lick my toes, she wouldnt get out of the truck, feeding her after every meal on my dinner plates. I asked her about it and she said she never wanted the dog in the first place, that she knew she would never be happy (I wish I would have known this) because I thought even though I knew she wasnt a fan of dogs that by getting one it would warm her heart, a cuddle play buddy. But as I sit here and read all the comments and the same scenarios I have been through, one thing does come to mind.communication. Im losing my damned mind! When she arrived she was on the couch. Ridiculous. He does not take the dog for a walk, a bath the dog, or even have time to play with the dog. Well now my boyfriend is fed up & told me that the cats have only two places in the house. The damn creature will go down, spend an inordinate amount of time staring at blank air, and practically doing anything but what it was crying to do earlier in the house. I dont know when this started, but she has also started peeing in the bed. If he is not an animal person, you have to accept that is who he is. I just wish hed either help or give her to his mom. The relationship is still really new and at least Im trying. I tried to look past, including accommodating his dog in my home when he stayed weekends (until my son was home every weekend then bf near disappeared) but years later the mentality hAsnt changed. I need advice please!!! In fact, You will receive an abundance of complaints from the neighbors about your dogs loudness. She never did that again but would keep forgetting to close the door during the day and the dogs would end up in the bed making it unsanitary! Thats when my hell began. It feels so disgusting and frustrated when a dog poops or pee on a nice carpet on the floor inside the house. My boyfriend and I just moved in together and he is okay with the dog living here with us. It upsets me greatly, we also have a 4 yr old son which the dog has bit on a couple occasions simply because the dog does not like him. Some dog lovers out there feel its ok to put their pets before their partners. So, in 1-5 years shes down to one dog and 3-7 years, shell have none. Secondly, he is just used to the way his dog is, and all her habits, so a new dog is going to take some time to adjust to. My neighbors tell me that they see my SO with the dog more then they see my child. The dogs anal glade burst on my pillow, she pees all over the place, brings ticks and dander into the home and my wife does not see this as a concern to our newborn. Im tired of fighting over her. The dirty paw prints all over the home also add to my irritation. All this with the power of love. The more I read about this in other blogs the more I realize its not even the dogs fault its his! They are animals. A retired couple who offered everything I did, with the bonus of not having my husband for a daddy. Unfortunately, I have split up with my partner of 5 years over the dogs. My husband got bored with him long ago and while he does the minimum walking and feeding, he shows him absolutely no affection whatsoever. We are also thinking about a baby, but I dont want my children to grow up in a house full with poop and pee and dog hairs. My wife has a bed for him set up in the shower because since he suffers from extreme anxiety, she said that is his safe place. This sofa was destroyed with her saliva as shed wash on herself to the point the drool dried and harden. I bet a hoarders house smells better than here. Loving and loyal. Our dogs get along well but not perfectly. Our lives are completely dominated by the wants/needs of these two hyper, needy dogs. The fact is, this is really obvious regarding why does your husband/boyfriend wanna do this. My story is that I met my now boyfriend about 7 years ago, and we lived separately up until 6 months ago. I agree with Charlie, you will never be first. So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. if the puppy pees I get yelled at. I admire you,I know I will never put up with this situation. Now despite my efforts, the dog is destroying my garden, ripping out my roses especially. I am now sleeping on the couch. The dog smell is what gets to me and makes me nauseous! These are both 70lb monsters mind you! I started to love her. I think the marriage should be prioirity number 1 and that both parties should agree on this. He tolerated both cats at best, he would attend to their basic needs if I was away, but showed neither any love nor affection. Email: [emailprotected]. They want to get rid of their dog but my girlfriend wont let him because of her dog. They cannot talk. Basically, my girlfriend does not have the ability to create boundaries or is willing to instill some discipline with the dog. I find myself dreading her coming home because I have to deal with them constantly meowing and demanding her attention, which she gladly gives them. Dogs do not fail us, we fail the. The dog likes to jump on the couch, claw the carpet and the couch, bark at any little noise and I swear the bark shakes the entire house. Remember this a like a giant female Labrador. If your husband complains about your dog constantly or your wife snaps at your cat, you might assume that the pet is the problem or that your partner hates your pet. READ the context before leaving some detached comment! I basically said no more, I am not staying over if the dog is in the bed. He knows his place in the pecking order. I said bye. they should not be anywhere on the bed they have their own. I told her No! She cannot go anywhere in the home without hair going everywhere. Like seriously why is this happening? It is protecting a member of its pack. Also, the dogs never get showered, brushed, nails clipped, they dont get vaccinations or flea treatments. It is absolutely impossible to explain love and general care for an animal to someone that utterly hates them with a bloody passion. I have been thinking about training (his dogs are a little older), but I know you have to set boundaries, but I think that is not going to happen. Not all people are equal. he lies on her keyboard, on her paperwork, gets between us during intimate moments. He still stays in his part of the house, and rarely ever has an accident except when I fail to take him out. Some of them also found it odd that, as a dog owner, Im perfectly fine with the fact that some people dont like dogs. Hey, I wanted to ask for some advice. She gets fever blisters, but not from the dogs. Why would you want your dog in the kitchen where human food is prepared and served? I really feel your pain. He Wont Get Rid Of His Dog, Should I Break Up With Him? they have killed children. Its got to the point that he even argues with me about it and starts to yell. First, to answer your question. He is not a good guy; people who hurt dogs move on to hurting people. I get wanting to have a dog because I like dogs too, but if its your dream in life to have a dog of your own Id say youre not exactly shooting for the stars. It also shows a man how you may treat a child if you have one, thats not good. Its embarrassing, humiliating, and I cant understand it at all. When I look at her its either aww shes cute and sleeping or I effing Hate her. I had to get rid of my dog (he was large but very well mannered) and my cat (i had for 7 years ) it was a VERY hard goodbye BUT luckily my mom took them in for me knowing that it was hard and knew she could give them the home and care i would want for them. From the actions he does with her, its hard not to feel jealous or a little hurt by all of this. They have personalities. Are you looking for solutions on what to do for this? When cooking, the dogs are right there in the kitchen in the way, so you constantly have to make sure you dont step on them. Allowing your kids to play with such a dog is just dangerous, and you need to realize that. If your dog likes someone, they are usually good. Not to my boyfriend. I do not want our marriage to end because of an animal that is not even part of our family. and so can partner. I am fighting a losing battle. Ask him for another month and promise to correct this behavior within that time period. We have 2 dogs. Besides the above, supervising its water intake, choosing the correct brush, choosing the correct shedding tool are also can impact the amount of shedding in your dog. Her big thing is getting in the trash which I think every dog will do. My other two cats are female and get along almost all the time but have a fight once in a while that I have to break up and I get scratched. Im not sure what to believe. For starters, I would like to begin by saying I am not what you people refer to as a dog nut by any means. What happened to compromise and communication? You just cannot argue with extreme pet lovers, it is like there is something wrong with us for not embracing and loving all of this. IT tried biting our baby!!!!!! Im sad to say that things have only gotten worse. I.e., Move to a new house. To give you how much worse it did become for me. She has a female dog and I have a male dog. It has been very sad at times when I miss my gf. For instance she thought one had eaten rat poison around my chuck coup miles away from anywhere they would wander, but the vet charged several hundred dollars each just incase they had in injections fees, its not funny, im in big trouble. Walk her 1-2 miles once in the morning and once at night. It saddens me terribly to think of loosing my dog. He literally cannot do anything without pissing off my boyfriend. Is there any way we could train my dog to be obediant with my husband just so this will stop. We have a great time together and have great chemistry. It will only get worse as time goes on and he neglects/takes you for granted. I then had 2 rescues left, a 15 yr old and an 8 yr old dog. I have been seeing a man for almost 3 years now. Now this we very tough for me because my shi-poo was such a sweet dog (he actually became a trained therapy dog bc of his gentle nature), but I found a wonderful home for him (one of my patients sons). Monitor the relationship without being openly antagonistic to her boyfriend, who may try to control and ultimately eliminate your daughter's access to you: Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. My last dog and cat slept with me until I realized I was lifting my leg in the middle of the night and wasnt getting very sound sleep. Who shed heavily and leave pee in the bed and black stuff on the pillows?? The niches of society that follows the latest things are lost like sheep and easily hypnotized by whatever the trends are. I moved to the US to be with my husband, so I left everything and everybody behind to be with him. He will not compromise at all on this issue. I find it so upsetting when people equate dogs to children. Shes stubborn and lazy. How many points will I take away? Teach it right and it will learn respect and maybe he wont be jealous anymore if he is then leAve him. My partners huskies shed like mad, and if he didnt brush them every day there would be a carpet of dog hair everywhere. According to her he also gets, cold all the time, so he wants to go under the covers. The moment I say something about the behaviors, my wife instantly defends the dog and states that its my fault this dog is like this. But I am miserable. Like I was abusing the dog! Hopefully she can help me get through this. Anyone who would hurt something that means so much to someone is a cold hearted person who cares for no one but themselves. He sincerely believes his quality of life would diminish if he couldnt sleep with his furry friend and I know that I would grow to detest that animal. When I brought this up to my boyfriend, he said Who cares? My boyfriend has a pit bull she is a nice dog. Im going nuts and no amount of grooming or nonsense home remedy will stop the shedding. Lastly, they tried to give me the third degree when I said that we crate our dog when we have visitors. I worked years at an animal shelter and do want to go into a career with animals. Good marriages (and relationships) dont just happen. I am and have always been a very clean individual. She jumped in bed with us one time when we were intimate. she claims hes depressed with her daughter not being here. Shes a large pit and she cant stand going outside. Why do so many pet lovers refuse to see that. The thing is, like someone has said here, people also lie about their feelings towards pets. PHOENIX , AZ AREA: (602) 708-4531 Of course, my bf thinks this is all cute and wonderful. The owners (in this case it s your boyfriends, girlfriends ) do not know how to train a dog ! Clothes included. Its seemed like she was in love with him! They require more time and work than I want to give. Me and my wife got our dog after being married for about a year. Give it some good thought before you decide! I agree with you about having a life without a dog. I need to do something. Not to mention! I didnt realize until now pets could cause trouble in relationships.. always been in one that where we are both on same side or at same level of animal love.. I tried calling no answer, so text her why is your dog here? I dont care. Did you to ever think that your partners ha no idea how inappropriate you were being as dog owners before they actually moved in and lived it everyday? I knew he was cuddling her and letting her lick his lips. If your BIL cant care for the dog properly and you or your husband arent capable/willing to take the time and investment to train it, please take time to find the poor creature a good home. It wasnt an overly-excited dog, just liked to chill and sit and be with us, which was great. And then they make lame excuses when it hurts someone or negatively impacts a relationship. She could scarcely walk to her bed and just played there I know now she was depressed, and had been thru 5 homes, and that maybe she was running away because she was in heat, that was another huge annoying thing I was trying to put diapers on her and such and she wasnt willing to hold still that made me mad or she thought she could run back to her old house. Charlie, the next morning she said she was sorry and that evening we talked it out (lovingly and with a gentle heart) and she fully understands how i truly feel and how i received what she did that night. Her dog, physically, is unique and lovable. Possibly bitter sprays can help until you solve the issue with positive reinforcement techniques. Nor will he let me even attempt to give the dogs away. I must mention that I was also caretaker for my mom and dad. Maybe it would be easier to see our side of people as well than just bash us and tell us to take the high road. Come on! Heavy training: You have to spend so much time with several bucks. A new poll of 3,500 dog parents from . :\ just getting to much with her sometimes its like I cant trust her at all when shes alone. She has never snapped at me or anyone again.She only barks when someone is outside she doesnt know, and all I have to do is tell her, thats enough. Neither of us like dog hair on our clothes, so hes not allowed on our couch or in our bed. Unfortunately the most annoying dog is also her favourite. Im slowly retraining my boyfriend and his dog. It does not help she has nipped me before and has a tendency to walk behind my legs up close which freaks me the hell out! I think that dog fanaticism/fetishism is a growing mental disorder. She also has a this high pitched bark that she does when shes in her kennel at night because she wants to get out. I was fooled into thinking that my boyfriend could have become more into pets in the aftermath of something he deems traumatic to himself. Pet ownership is supposed to be fun but this dog is causing unnecessary stress for both of you. Long story short, it was an extremely stressful weekend, having to watch the little dog around my girlfriends dog 24/7, leash inside the house, etc. I cannot even go sit down and relax, because they are all over me, and clawing my skin in their wild excitement. Every suggestion I make about boundaries or training is shut down and she gets very offended. Hello DK, But I will always place my partner above my pet. He still pees in the house, not from lack of training but because she is too lazy to take him out. So, my girlfriend and I have been together for four years. Im getting so tipped to the edge about all of this i need help :( x. Anyhow, we moved to a house where I agreed to keep my dog in his own section of the house in the kitchen/laundry room so if he were to have an accident, which infuriates my husband, then it wouldnt be hard to clean up. I was irritated and so was he. He will break out of whatever you try and put him in then raise hell on the whole house. There is NO excuse for a dog that bites a person!!!!! Something I think my partner can use wisely but chooses not to because he thinks him or the dog should t have to. I feel like thats sort of evil and that she lied about who she was. Hes done it before, a few times Its always in the way ugh. He sleep at his own house. And it will., So true, dont count yourself short, you are worth so much more than being treated as you currently are. I tell him it hurts my feelings when he says things like that about my dog, wishing her dead all the time, but he says what about MY feelings, how I hate the dog, that I do not care that he hates my dog and he feels he has to live with this animal he hates. We got in a huge fight and finally made a break through. Its hard sometimes to compromise because hes had her before we met, but you have to consider the other persons boundaries. As we only meet during w/end or at times every two w/ends depending on our schedules. More and more lately if I move him somewhere he doesnt want to go. I used to love dogs, never again. You would assume most dog lovers/owners would treat ALL dogs the same! I started using sanitation wipes and putting the dishwasher on sanitation cycle. My SO goes to take the dog out before we go to bed and finds the dog in its kennel with the lights out and suddenly Im this evil person because and the dog is scared. So he wont correct the DAMN thing when its wrong. We love our dog, but we do NOT treat him like a human child because hes not one. THIS IS ALL SOO WRONG. She did the bed thing ONCE in the beginning and I only got one hour sleep and was a wreck the next day and said never again. No thanks! Seriously, some of you dog owners are insane! As humans we are supposed to have some capacity of having emotional responses to animals that are completely different to those that we have of people! The first nights, he didnt want me to sleep with him, because he didnt want his dogs to be disturbed. Now, let us go back nine years in time. If the dog lays on the bed, remove the separation anxiety and start taking the steps to end the problem for the sake of your relationship. And I can reach out and pet them or even snuggle them and still be in a dog-free bed with my boyfriend. We got our dog after we were married, and the reason its worked is because weve been on the same page regarding the boundaries set. 75 percent of his waking life he is begging for something. Im hurt inside as I work long hours and dont see how I will be able to spend time with them over the weekend nor I think this is humane. People lie when they want to bad enough and think they can just change you after the relationship gets serious. He eats my dogs food and makes sure she doesnt eat or get any water. Maybe our guys should get together and have fun talking and babying those ugly little beasts. But its never too late to get up on your feet, face the reality, and march forward. Then, throwing that dog into a two (or more) person household, after having had the obsession/attention of their owner for so long, is a recipe for disaster. I feel NO PEACE OR HARMONY WITH THAT LITTLE DEMON THING. Theyre not dogs: theyre living gods. The last big fight we had that almost ended our marriage was me telling her she didnt have to take the dog with her everywhere, and needed to get the dog used to being at home by herself so whenever we are both working outside of the home, the dog is not going through separation anxiety. Wink. We realized that the dog does NOT get along with other dogs. He wants her to sleep in the bed with us but she wakes me up every night pulling my cover so I get up and sleep on the couch. There are some really nutty dog owners out there unfortunately! You cant expect someone to clean up dog s*** and dog p*** everyday and live in a house that smells worse than a kennel! If you endeavor with a strong mind, you will be able to turn this offensive dog into an affectionate, kind to kids, loving canine. Think logically. His dog gets sick also, it throws up every now & then. He keeps saying that there is something wrong with him. But he would rub the dogs back abd love on her back before he evens thinks of me. Just as I clean after his 12 year old son who is completely capable of picking up after himself. i know it wont be easy since you two have a kid on the way, but the safety of your children, not to mention your sanity and peace of mind, are way more important. I would never allow an animal to usurp me ever again. Give priority to the husband: If you need to protect both dog and the relationship, you need to give priority to your husband/boyfriend. Cuddling her and the fact is, like someone has said here people! Cat into an outdoor cat little hurt by all of this I need help (! Dog when we have that mess to clean up too dog owners out there!... Now despite my efforts, the dogs away think my partner can use wisely but chooses not to jealous. Lie when they are single and lonely for 4.75 a mother become my dog now... 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