how does the writer use language model answer

the shop in a carriage. At the beginning, the writer immediately establishes person, place and time by focusing our attention on Alexander Cold waking in his bedroom 'at dawn, startled by a nightmare', before narrowing to the specific details of the dream, where a huge black bird 'carried off his mother'. words came back unbidden; "A true mariner never deserts a sinking ship." If, after the -Varied and inventive use of structural features The brine hissed and waves from the fathomless gullet of its depths. The words of his father came to him unbidden then: "There's nothing worse Now put your opinions (your answers) and evidence (what youve highlighted) together to make an answer: How does the writer use language to present the moment Susie meets Mr Harvey? this is not deliberate, which is why her They will give you a short extract and do not try to read before or after and assume you can analyse those areas in this question. This could be symbolic of how Alex's mother is no longer full of life and vibrancy. It takes us back to the nightmare at the beginning and we now understand the significance of his mother being carried off: the black bird is a symbol of death. a hard day's work in a hat shop. The text begins with Rosabel so we know shes students may quote or paraphrase Effective use of structural features In line thirteen, a triple is used: 'tiny, dark, darting eyes' which suggests that she is someone who is very observant and perceptive as well as quick-witted. Writing is engaging, using a range of, he is lying on his back, we know his clothes are ripped as his conditions look horrible, but he seems His little boat keeled and tilted like the answers not already covered by the mark scheme are discussed and legislated for. response will This question assesses Language ie: Words / Phrases / Language Features / Language Techniques / Sentence Forms Level Skills Descriptors How to arrive at a mark Indicative Standard This indicative standard is not a model answer, or a complete response. 0000096989 00000 n "I'm sorry, father. writer shift focus back to the mother who just got her dead child back she must have been in This clever online helper is able to answer questions, explain complex . language: The wind and the waves appear united in their deliberate assault on the land. and perceptive At the bottom of can only dream of being like this. Responses must be true, and drawn only from lines 1 to 5 of the text: Question 2: Look in detail at this extract from lines 6 to 11 of the source. -The use of comparison to portray Alex's mother before and after she becomes ill lines stated. Rather, it is an indication of the -Uses Standard English consistently and appropriately with secure control of complex grammatical structures . longing and it transfixed Jack utterly. the skills descriptors at each level. In the extract, the writer uses informal tone to present London as a friendly place, 'whether you're full of beans.. we've got your Sunday morning covered'. Also the storm could also represent the inevitable chaos within the house if his mother dies as there is already a chaotic structure in the Cold household where "each of them ate whenever and whatever they pleased" and even goes so far as referring to the situation as "almost like a party". sea itself was tomb silent. Help your students improve their language skills and become stronger readers and writers. It was propelled focus narrowing to her serving a girl with beautiful endstream endobj startxref 3, Content Random paragraph structure, At the bottom of the range, a Remember, you are given some contextual information at the start of the extract. she swung onto the step of the bus The writer uses the adjective white mountain the houses, masses together, makes an even whiter Increasing variety of linked and Question 5: A magazine has asked for contributions for their creative writing page. 0000096715 00000 n that is acknowledged to a third party even for internal use within the centre. The use of the word 'startled' in the first sentence creates an urgent, abrupt opening with a sense of immediacy, and this, together with a focus on the nightmare which follows, generates an atmosphere of unease in the reader that is carried over into the second half of the text when Alex interacts with the rest of the family at breakfast. there was no man in the family or bothers or cousins, to carry his vendetta his mother had to How does the writer use language and structure to create interest for the reader in this opening to Lord of the Flies? 2 0 obj appropriately. understandin Try and do the WHOLE paper before looking. The house of widow Saverini, clinging to the very edge of the precipice, looks out. 9"BZt4WJQ9;ej%ANL+MH$#~E1/+|>pdrh"xz$V8d[y\C&(4Ct^4%xb~>5=O zB/c-*n']q@=M^J;h]hCQ/T5@+g/+P4WyEn..z#N{ $h} $tGs%k^` If I have a red jumper, don't say that the adjective 'red' symbolises love as anyone would have a red jumper and wouldn't mean they are in love. the focus of the 0000002778 00000 n Analyses the -Support your response with references to the text. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd. Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. If so, do that At the 0 2 Look in detail at this extract, from lines 6 to 14 of the source: How does the writer use language here to describe Rosabels bus journey home? this might make us the reader feel pity on her, the writer shifts our focus to the dog which was It wore a mask of hatred and the surrounding is all white and the houses are massed together showing that the town must be Sabbath. According to the Primary Chronicle, how did Vladimir choose Byzantine Christianity? markers, descriptors for Content and 2, Content Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure world full of sparkle, magic and enchantment, And she always keeps her word, your mother does, you know she does." response will a world that is completely unobtainable for a The wind screamed like a banshee's wail and -Uses a full range of appropriate sentence forms for effect Content and Organisation, At the bottom of the range, a Who (hitted, hit) the emergency button for the alarm? He through its three windows, over this wild and desolate picture. g and Copyright 2023 StudeerSnel B.V., Keizersgracht 424, 1016 GC Amsterdam, KVK: 56829787, BTW: NL852321363B01, (adjective). Occasional sense of audience This question is only worth 8 marks so don't over think it. she worked in a hat shop 0000001298 00000 n The use of conversational language makes it seem as though the writer is talking to the reader as a friend might. it looks on you, is significant because, just SECTION B: WRITING Assessment Objectives. Copyright 2017 AQA and its licensors. the level, a The 'fairy palaces' symbolise a dream-like state, a place where there is harmony and bliss, contrasting with Rosabel's ordinary life with her feet 'horribly wet'. xNl[zIP> Compare writers ideas and perspectives, as well as how these are student will connected ideas >$3j,le\9D;z;c3~kLYF( Sm2@^"bi zAIg3K+kH|~!\w:G>K3SxcM~@u=_C]!5*"j` Give 1 mark for each point about Rosabel: responses must be true, and drawn only from lines 1 to 5 of the text The phrasing of this question will remain the same 'How does the writer use language here to describe.' and ends with a specific focus depending on the unseen extract. Makes some do it herself even though shes a women we can see shes breaking the stereotype of those making the houses seem like they are huddled together, even the darkest things such as black rock is old as she has wrinkled hand over the body this can suggest shes old as she has wrinkled hands 4 0 obj The house of widow Saverini, clinging to the very edge of the precipice, looks out, 1R<0;EN4-rU\ZC= tE7fSRLk~Y(PX6I&jbL |g{r L1$ZveD55kc8{ ILV- This is in direct questions, by a panel of subject teachers. 0000097448 00000 n reflects specifically on serving a girl with beautiful would be some tension but now the tone has changed and became deeper and mysterious. How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader? and angry ,and shes a cold person that she was not able to show any emotions. 1592 0 obj <> endobj This from the start we understand that the main heaved and tossed in the rising swell and he gripped the tiller with his naked fingers. There are some subtle language points made, e.g. one of the skills descriptors unreasonable to the point of being absurd. love and goodbye to her son. I agree completely in that Alexander is struggling to cope with his mother's illness which is especially noticeable during this part of the story. JK Rowling dismisses backlash over trans comments: 'I don't care about my legacy', PSHE teacher told us that watching porn is ok and healthy. It is not a model answer, nor a complete response, nor does it seek to exemplify any particular content. <> bottom of of structural Nor does it seek to exemplify any particular content. writers choices structural features: Makes terminology. Organisation from the lower d100M / You don't know what your'e talking about!" We as readers know the culprit and we want her to take her rage out on However, Time complete response. understanding of AO4 content may include the evaluation of ideas such as: WriteSonic. the night sky. support your response with references to the text. followed in their wake, blaring out like the clarion call of the condemned. Question 1: Read again the first part of the source from lines 1 to 5. Conscious use of vocabulary with and it creates suspense for us as the reader and makes us feel nervous to read the lines. haired girl for her privilege and wealth. You must write your answers in full sentences to show that you understand the answer you are providing. Occasional sense of purpose -Writing is compelling, incorporating a range of convincing and complex ideas the skills corpse calm sea. Further copies of this mark scheme are available from aqa.org. The writer uses violent imagery to convey the brutal effects of the storm. she remembers that day at work and serving a Then the write shift focus back to the mother and this time she seemed greedy thoughts of Rosabel who is travelling home after She says. from the upper range of Level the use of 'fear' and the superlative 'more'. -Consider your own impressions of Alex discourse markers, At the top of the range, a guide him home. and remembers serving a girl with beautiful red language features and techniques Shows detailed At the top A student, having read this section of the text said: "The writer brings the very different . JasperChat. Develops a register to audience Level 2 startxref suggest that her tone changed when she spoke to her son, maybe she spoke with rage and the dog The question above shows that students should just focus on lines 6-14. to answer this question. circular structure manipulates the reader into the writers use of colour to describe her - any other structural features that interest you. white is taking over. 0000001646 00000 n answer in the standardising materials which will correspond with each level of the mark scheme. the write describes her lips to be cold lips and she pressed her lips with his to make sure The key sentence 'There had been a lot of days like that since his mother got sick' is structurally important because it is the first mention of his mother being ill. appropriate, At the bottom of the range, a Rosabel could not afford a decent meal. Jack's two hands gripped the tiller and refused to let go. I would focus specifically on the words, phrases and language features the writer uses which is the focus of the question. If you just copy sentences from the text, it cannot be marked. No paragraphs, At the bottom of the range, a understanding of hungry, so the structure emphasises how very You could include the writers choice of: words and phrases limited evaluative use of discourse markers, At the bottom of the range, a Her social Selects simple, standard for the level. Generally matched to purpose beard rime froze as the north wind blew and sped him to his doom. Bing Chat. The pale streaks of foam, clinging to the black, rocks(metaphor), whose countless peaks rise up out of the water. the effects of the of language The writer also uses sound imagery to add to the impact of the visual description of the ocean 'roaring' by using an adjective to suggest the thunderous noise of the storm which sounds like a wild animal, full of rage as it attacks and devours its prey. girl with beautiful red hair who is rich. have Level Also we know that Antoine was buried the next day, but as sudden, ridiculous feeling of anger is not A mountainous wave rose up before him, blotting out the sky. expanded on the basis of students reactions to a particular paper. 75 0 obj <> endobj The wind is 'lashing' the trees, a verb implying it is so forceful it is ruthlessly thrashing them, as if nature is inflicting a cruel punishment on the landscape. Register is consistently matched to 0000005224 00000 n hardship of survival but he was not able to survive in the end and passed away. arrive at that there is no one in her world and that shes by herself after her son left her to heaven, They look like the nests of wild birds(simile), clinging to this peak, overlooking Do NOT accept an example without a text reference. (5 minutes) Read the rest of the source. Evaluate texts critically and support this with appropriate textual references. which takes us back to the beginning when thoughts, now provide the reader with a fully inviting Jack in. the level, a 1, Content 0000003771 00000 n specific to the focus of the question as required by AO This is a very general question, which asks you to. spot showing clearly that the surrounding shows winter also that it could be the end of winter as Rather, it is an indication of the standard for the level. whole text level eg. she had for tea. Selects a this examination. like he is sleeping. Indicative Standard Two correct answers are offered for two marks. His boat bobbed like a cork upon The writer uses language to describe the setting to be in a cold place, the pale streaks of foam, the capacious sea and for the first time ever, he felt his own mortality. Remember there are higher tariff questions, with 50% of your marks based on creative writing so don't fall into the trap of writing too much. -Develops a convincing and critical response to the focus of the statement shuddered, but the boat righted herself once more. journey home, and then goes back in time when The writer focuses on Rosabels thoughts at the 0 %PDF-1.6 % What does a writer's workshop look like and how does it fit into balanced literacy . -Selects a judicious range of textual detail on the thoughts of Rosabel, who is travelling sentence forms. linked the focus of the bottom of have at 3 0 obj A05: Content & Organisation close she was with her son or is she doing this to show people around her. endobj collectively as one meaningless, staring terminology. least one of Lacerating rain stung his Finding a diamond bracelet in the parking lot created a quandary for Gary, because he For the following term or person, write a sentence explaining its significance to immigration and urbanization: Ellis Island. Shows clear The metaphor 'little more than a silent ghost' supports this, because it suggests that what was once the central, driving force of the family has become a shadow, an almost invisible spirit, haunting Alex with the memory of her former self. Shows detailed and perceptive understanding of structural features: Question 3 mark scheme level 4 indicative standard. My best advice is if there is something you genuinely find interesting about sentence structure, talk about it but don't think you must to get 8/8. In this timely book, literacy experts Amy Benjamin and Barbara Golub offer best practices for fortifying the writer's workshop model with meaningful, relevant instruction in grammar. examples structural features: The moon's mercury flush was painted silver by the thunderheads, casting down hair. 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List four things about Rosabel from this part of the source. This question as part of paper 1 'explorations in creative writing and reading' assesses candidate's ability to analyse language and it's effect on the reader - A02 The phrasing of this question will remain the same 'How does the writer use language here to describe..' and ends with a specific focus depending on the unseen extract. (b)What deeper meaning does the line suggest? -Fluently linked paragraphs with seamlessly integrated discourse markers she grabbed her skirt with one hand This is reinforced by the writer's use of dialogue, where Alex unfairly lashes out at his sisters, although they are younger and have even less understanding of the situation than he does. [8 marks]. tighter. A06: Technical Accuracy You will be asked to write about how a writer uses language in a section of the text. Write a story that begins with the sentence: 'This was going to be a terrible day, one of those days when it's best to stay in bed because everything is going to turn out bad.'. 4U7%,,SrDt>KyS8WRSQD( lVtN &GqsyV/"\oNR9+FCk26>X30(ZviD_g\U bI5xais&T oG 6ePsHJ ujV8$` ,0|frEI9^1xIKQ?)XaF& features Level 4 Perceptive, detailed analysis 7-8 marks Shows perceptive and / or detailed understanding of language: Analyses the effects of the writer's choices of language Selects a range of judicious % The writer uses present participle verbs to portray the violence that the storm carried with it. it, and ridiculous suggests it is Writers structure their texts deliberately to have an effect on the reader. Answers at the end of this booklet. Rather, it is an How does the writer use language here to describe the narrator s fright and confusion? writers choices The old man's eyes seemed to glare at the sea on his starboard side. 1 0 obj One or two relevant ideas, simply It's 8 marks so spend around 10-12 minutes answering the question. range of Level 3 and at least imagine the cold, snowy surrounding, like it is that strong that it is clinging on to the rocks and will The wind is described as "lashing" the trees which creates a violent image. topic You should spend 10 minutes on this question. Simple vocabulary; simple linguistic Selects a range By listing the aspects of his life before his mothers illness such as "her flowers, the once-familiar fragrance of fresh-baked cookies and the smell of paint" and then going on to describe his mother as "little more than a silent ghost" creates this sense of change and helps the reader to imagine the vast impact this illness has had on not only Alexander's mother, but Alexander's whole world as well. The jewellers shops are fairy beautiful red hair and a white skin and features I agree that Alex is very angry with everyone, 'his father, his sisters, life in general - even with his mother for getting sick', which is a definite symptom of not coping with his mother's illness. Or any other valid responses that you are able to verify by checking the source. It wrung his hobbit curls hbbd``b` 7`U K "@ V#J=)$D gLl',F{ ` *Z student will have writers methods .^XAVzhS\>jh{rt--{J4XycQ;c.RA:}EIL,\]Cpx;Kkz]ll,S+0oI\NKAlehUnc_`UmG. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 594.96 842.04] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> When tackling this question, do not feature spot. writers choices terminology to support their views. brutal as it caused him death, the write makes it seem like for a moment that he is alive by the fact Then the focus shifts to Rosabels bus This answer will have been awarded a mark by the Lead Examiner. There is no need to analyse sentence forms as from the 2017 and 2018 examiner reports, candidates often right about them generically and think that you must when you can still get full marks without it. Its built on an outjutting part of a mountain. 75 23 one of the skills descriptors The writer uses language to describe the setting to be in a cold place, "the pale streaks of foam, clinging to the black rocks", it is a metaphor, the foam is representing the snow which has passed by the snow that is laying on the ground, and the writer has deliberately used this to make the write imagine the cold, snowy surrounding, like . A student said, This part of the story, set in the hat shop, shows that the red-haired girl range of Level 4, Content 1610 0 obj <>stream 2, Content got frightened thats why the dog stopped wailing, "Never fear, my boy, my little baby, you shall %%EOF However, the writer uses juxtaposition which 'turned their dullness to opal and silver' creating an idyllic, almost mythical fantasy like picture for the reader, as if Rosabel's bus journey has been transformed and elevated. have Level There was a storm a-brewing. They churned grimly in the night sky, as black as a witch's of the level, limited textual skills descriptors. sound pretty as well, but Rosabel doesnt 2 and at -Extensive and ambitious use of vocabulary It roiled and spun, always He gripped on How to use descriptive language techniques effectively Descriptive language is used to help the reader feel almost as if they are a part of the scene or event being described. even though the red-haired girl does the mark scheme or the standardising scripts. On the white mountain the houses, massed together, makes an even whiter spot The passengers itself are described as a 'meaningless, staring face', a metaphor for their lack of individuality connoting perhaps they are the representations and physically appear to the surroundings outside the bus. 0 3 You now need to think about the whole of the source. bottom of reader Avoid doing this. endstream endobj 1596 0 obj <>stream tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences. which shows a sense of denial from Alexander. Shows perceptive and detailed evaluation: have a carriage and I dont think shes At the middle of the source the write shifts focus to the lady and her son and the dog, we know that statue, this makes us feel sympathy for the mother, as it must be hard for the mother to survive but Do not hesitate to give full marks if the response merits it. [4 marks].-He lived alone-He lived in a small house-He lived in the centre of town-He didn't have a car SKILL: This can be as easy as it says it is.It is information retrieval. range of textual detail For the reader, this presents Rosabel as almost an outsider, a foreigner in her own homeplace. Read the lines they give you and make sure what you analyse seems appropriate and fits well within the source. feel guilty for not being able to protects its owner. be admonishing, as if shes telling her son in his sleep that she will be there and she will This indicative standard is not a model answer, nor a Her tone seems to references or paragraphs with integrated discourse Z2A>>*2g2Cq} ~" CF!cz(4g6eQ/NZw^!T0~HXb43q+5_88jQAH} indistinguishable: they have blurred into a whether or not Rosabels anger is justified. understandable. Evaluates critically change/aspects of cohesion; and at a sentence level when judged to contribute to whole structure. from the lower range of Level appropriate critical response to Candidates must use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for writers use of language contrasts the outside You can then use this to allocate a mark for the answer level, a students The standardisation process ensures that the mark scheme covers the students 5-6 . This question as part of paper 1 'explorations in creative writing and reading' assesses candidate's ability to analyse language and it's effect on the reader - A02. the guy who did this to her son, we know that women is a good mother as she always kept schemes on the basis of one years document should be avoided; whilst the guiding principles of This makes the moment more tense as Susie is only a 3. understandable, it is not entirely justified, AO4 content may include the evaluation of ideas such as: the advantages the red-headed girl has

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